Pick of the Pops 3 (9.1.79)

Rocky Sharpe and the Replays - 'Rama Lama Ding Dong' (or something): they changed their name from the more-threatening Rocky Sharpe and the Razors so that they could appear on Magpie and Tiswas - fair enough, but could you imagine getting up in the morning and realising you had to do doo-wop as your job? A terrible and completely stupid (not an adjective I've used on here before) record. 0/10

Rod Stewart - 'Do Ya Think I' m Sexy?' Gambaccini bottles out of calling out his Tory/Brexiteer hero's plagiarism/theft of Bobby Womack's and Jorge Benjor's music by calling it' borrowing'. Take away the lyrics, the sentiment and the leopard print kecks and there's an OK record trying to fight its way out of 'DYTIS?' . 5/10

Funkadelic - 'One Nation Under a Groove': it's worth the wait, because there are some corking records this week. 9/10

Paul Evans - 'Hello, This Is Joanie': the name 'Paul Evans' really screams out 'ROCK AND ROLL! ' doesn't it? I love a good 'snuff' song ('Terry', 'Tell Laura I Love Her, 'Ernie' etc), me. This is rubbish, obviously, but there's a decent and disturbing short story somewhere in here. 3/10

Chaka Khan - 'I'm Every Woman': fabulous. 10/10

Olivia Newton-John - 'A Little More Love': a slinky, underrated and genuinely ace song. Only the goddess-like Chaka is keeping 'Livvy' off the 'Best Record' spot this week. I've spoiled the surprise now, haven't I? (I know you care; don't pretend you don't.) Mind you, it means that I can link someone cool on the YouTube video this week. 9/10

The Bee Gees - 'Too Much Heaven': much as I like Randy, Boris and Dobbin's disco output, this is one of those songs where you question their falsetto vocals and think 'What ARE you doing, lads?' Shite. 1/10

Chic - 'Le Freak': I think most people know that the original title was 'F*ck Off' (and was written after Ber-nard and Nile were knocked back from the Broadway Club* in Norris Green, Liverpool, back in 1978). Another brilliant, timeless record. 10/10

*Actually Manhattan's Studio 54. If you were lucky enough not to have visited 'The Broadway', think the Mos Eisley Cantina - only a more nightmarish, mutant and violent version - and you're halfway there.

Barbra Streisand/Neil Diamond - 'You Don't Bring Me Flowers': I love Barbra (obviously), but can't stand Neil's horrid, up-his-own-arse bombast. This is a truly hideous, vomit-inducing record - the result of two egomaniacs simultaneously thinking they're 'it'. 0/10

Earth Wind and Fire - 'September': EWF at the height of their powers. A glorious record. 9/10

Elton John - 'Song for Guy': I shouldn't like this, but...I'm getting old. 7/10

Racey - 'Lay Your Love On Me': like an even shitter version of Mud. 0/10

Ian Dury and the Blockheads - 'Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick': like I said, there are some great records this week. Peak Ian Dury! 9/10

Village People - 'YMCA': When this was number one in the charts, my rough, tough, ex-professional soldier arl fella remarked that Everton FC should run out to this song instead of 'Z Cars'. When I pointed out that this was THE gay anthem of a generation (and this was the grim end point of a less-enlightened decade), he simply replied "Good." 10/10

Gambaccini: Rod Stewart apologia excepted, he was OK this week. 6/10
Programme as a whole: 9/10
Worst Record? The three 'noughts', but particularly Babs and Neil.
Best Record? SO difficult this week. Is there a more life-affirming record than YMCA? Is there any other record that explodes from your speakers like 'Le Freak'? I'm beginning to think my Chaka-bias may be clouding my judgement, but I'm (still) going with Yvette... (Click on the pic to hear the song. ) 

Full version on the website sometime soon.

And don't forget kids, it's only pop music!